The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

PRIVATE ENTRY
23:15 Dec 24 2010
Times Read: 952


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PRIVATE ENTRY
19:56 Dec 24 2010
Times Read: 999


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12:03 Dec 22 2010
Times Read: 1,015

Why... Just why do things have to be so hard. I am almost wishing for a 5 day coma. I am set in my ways on certain aspects. I have a few certain traditions, that no matter what has gone on, I have always found a way to make them happen. This year it doesn't seem to be going that way. The only thing I have to look forward to is, waking up Christmas morning and turning on the webcam to see Alex open presents.



There will be no getting dressed and going over to Grams for Christmas Brunch, there will be no go over to my parents house for Christmas Dinner with the rest of my family. There will be none of that this year, none of it at all.



It should not be like this. Trying to tell me that I am a Bad Pagan, because I celebrate Christmas, is not right. It's a family tradition, I was raised Catholic and I am still in the Closet to most of my family. So, yes celebrating Christmas is a family tradition that I have always done. I still had my Yule Ritual, last night. But being so solitary now, it felt kind of lonely.



My mind is wandering , and I can't sleep again.

-shrugs- I just don't know.... I really don't.

08:28 Dec 22 2010
Times Read: 1,030












Oh, yes I have

07:27 Dec 22 2010
Times Read: 1,039

12 days of Christmas ( naughty content)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 12 Days of Christmas





My Dearest Darling John,



I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. Thank you darling for the lovely thought.



Your ever loving, Agnes.



15th December



My Dearest John,



Today the postman brought two very sweet turtle doves. I am delighted. They are adorable.



All my love forever, Agnes.



16th December



Dearest John,



Oh how extravagant you are. I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity. Three French hens. I insist you are too kind.



Your ever loving, Agnes.



17th December



What can I say. Four calling birds arrived this morning with the postman. Your kindness is too much.



Love Agnes.



18th December



My Dearest John,



What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five gold rings. One for each finger. You really are an impossible boy, but I love you. Frankly, all the birds are beginning to squawk and get on my nerves.



Your ever loving Agnes.



19th December



Dear John,



When I opened the door this morning there were actually six bloody great geese laying eggs all over my front step. What on earth do you think I can do with them all? The neighbours are beginning to smell them and I cannot sleep.



Please stop.



Yours fondly, Agnes.



20th December



John,



What is it with you and these sodding birds? Now I get seven swans a swanning. Is it some sort of goddamned joke? The house is full of bird shit and it is not funny anymore.



Stop sending bloody birds.



Yours Agnes.



21st December



OK Buster,



Think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with eight maids a milking? It's enough with all these birds and now I have eight cows shitting all over the house and mooing all night.



Lay off, Agnes.



22nd December



Look craphead, What are you, some kind of a nut? Now I have nine pipers playing and Christ do they play. When they're not playing their sodding pipes they are screwing the maids. The cows are treading all over the bloody birds and the neighbours are threatening to get me evicted.



Get knotted, Agnes.



23rd December



You Rotten B@st@rd,



Now I have ten ladies dancing. How on earth you can call these whores "ladies" is beyond me. They are blowing the pipers all night long, the cows can't sleep and have diarrhoea. My living room is a sea of shit and the landlord has just declared the building unfit for human habitation.



Piss off, Agnes.



24th December



Listen Shithead, What with eleven lords leaping all over the maids and me, I shall never walk again. The pipers are fighting the lords for the crumpet and committing sodomy with the cows. The birds are all dead and rotting having been trampled on during the orgy. I hope you are satisfied you tosser.



Your sworn enemy, Agnes.



25th December



You Stinking Lousy B@st@rd, Twelve drummers have teamed up with the pipers in making one hell of a din. Both have begun buggering the lords as well as the cows and Christ knows what has happened to the milk-maids. They've probably drowned in the cow shit by now. The only way I have saved myself from being f***ed to death is by hiding up that sodding pear tree which has been so well fertilised by shit that it's grown through the bloody roof.



F**K OFF AND DIE, Agnes

20:04 Dec 21 2010
Times Read: 1,053

what happens when the Drama Llama strikes lol





Thank you Ra

19:51 Dec 20 2010
Times Read: 1,063

We recieved two cards today one from MoonKissed and Myth and the other from The Hidden ! Love getting all of these cards =}~

08:53 Dec 19 2010
Times Read: 1,073

Dear Mr Sandman



Why is it that you never come to see me anymore ? I really wish you would.





Signed

Insomnia



I was so tired earlier and I went to bed and just tossed and turned, even tried to count sheep.



But no as being my mind wanders it went like this:



Ok trying to picture a sheep - i see the sheep but do i want it to be a white sheep or a black sheep



Is it running on grass or dirt ?



what kind of fence is it jumping over? is it a wooden fence. a wire fence is it brown or is it white.... what angle is the fence at.. is it a high fence or a low fence



wait why does it have to be a sheep ? ok how about a cat? what color cat... good lord please just let me sleep................

05:50 Dec 19 2010
Times Read: 1,078






I can not wait for all of this to be over.



That is all.

23:36 Dec 17 2010
Times Read: 1,107

Today was a good, no today turned out to be a great day *evil grin*



I spoke to an attorny today, who explained exactly what measures I needed to take to get the results I want and it didn't cost me a thing.



As I had to file a complaint with the better business bureau with the previous company that I paid.



I called up to NY and spoke to the court clerk, who ended up being someone that I knew and she was more then happy to provide me with the information and documents that I needed in order to achieve the result of modify the current custody order, and and also getting a electronic appearance form so that I do not have to make the trip up to NY to appear in court. Instead when the court date is set the other party will go to the court room in NY and the Judge will call me at home. I have everything that I need and it is not being contested by the other party.



So once I recieve the documents I will have them filled out and sent back up and we should have our court date just after the holidays.





I feel very blessed today

20:37 Dec 16 2010
Times Read: 1,118

We recieved cards from Images, Pandora, Temptation101 and PD ! All are hung with care with the other cards we have recieved !



Hehe PD a Glitter Kitty LOve it ! ♥





I also recieved my gift from my secret santa - Images - I just love the DVD set of Moonlight - its sitting underneith the Tree =} ♥

HomeMade Eggnog mmm Someone was asking for this recipe...
10:11 Dec 15 2010
Times Read: 1,123

12 pasteurized eggs

1 lb. confectioners’ sugar

½ teaspoon salt

¼ cup vanilla

4 cups evaporated milk

2 cups heavy cream



Yield: 9 servings

Serving size: 1 cup



Break eggs into large bowl. Beat eggs until light in color. Mix in confectioner’s sugar, salt and vanilla. Add evaporated milk and cream. Blend with egg mixture for 30 seconds. If desired, add in 4 cups dark rum, brandy, bourbon or rye. Cover eggnog closely and let ripen in the refrigerator for 24 hours. Stir again and serve sprinkled with freshly grated nutmeg or other garnishes

21:54 Dec 14 2010
Times Read: 1,133

Woot ! The oleman bought me a web cam ! Yay ! Soon there will be Rachy Cam !



thank you dear ♥Kiss♥

21:30 Dec 14 2010
Times Read: 1,140

Recieved Christmas cards from Razr and LadykrystalynDarkStar and BubbleGumClaudia and Kattrinak !



That totally just made my day !



We also got RIGHT FRONT corner of an evevelope of a card from Champlain NY but no card or anything.

20:45 Dec 14 2010
Times Read: 1,145

Frustrated behind belief.

I have this document that I need to be able to open, but its in mhtml format, so I can not few it or anything I have looked and tried a million different things and nothing works at all. All i need is it in a word or notepad format and I just can NOT seem to get this to work. Is anyone familiar with this ?

22:36 Dec 13 2010
Times Read: 1,160

Geez I thought the postal code was :



Even with snow and sleet and rain the mail will be delivered. Apprently the TN Postal Service didn't get that memo as its 5:30 here and the mail never even came to pick up the mail in the mailbox or deliver mail for that matter. -.-

07:02 Dec 13 2010
Times Read: 1,169

No matter how I try to spin it, it just doesn't feel like Christmas to me. Granted yes I am Pagan, but I was grew up with a Catholic family. The holidays was always a big thing around our house growing up and even after I was out on my own.



The get togethers with all the cousisn to make cookies at Grams house, going out with my Dad every single year to get a tree off of the Tree farm we own, having the holiday parties spread out from Thanksgiving to New Years because I have a huge family.



Everyone making their special dish to bring to the Dinners and Brunches, Grams apple Pie, Mom's Broccoli cheese squares, Aunt Suzi's Cheesy Potatos and her pineapple cassarole.



I didn't make Thanksgiving Dinner and it looks as If I wont be making Christmas Dinner either. It's all making me rather homesick. I have tried to get into the holiday spirit and I just can't seem to. I miss having the family dinners, I want the smell of fresh cut evergreen to fill the house.



I guess I am set in my ways in that manner, and yes I celebrate Yule, but doing this all in a solitary manner seems so foreign to me.

19:13 Dec 11 2010
Times Read: 1,188

We recieved a whole slew of Holiday cards over the last few days, and I love it ! after i decorated my Charlie Brown Tree today I hung up all the cards we have recieved around the door way today.



Now just to get some Eggnog and some rum and sit and watches some movies today and make some more cookies.



There are a few movies that I always watch.

It's a Wonderful Life I watch every Christmas Eve, Miracle on 34th Street, and of course all the Peanuts and Tradaitional Christmas cartoons, Rudolph and Frosty !

PRIVATE ENTRY
23:06 Dec 10 2010
Times Read: 1,211


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

04:49 Dec 10 2010
Times Read: 1,220

One day closer to the day Alex comes home. Sometimes I just have to take this day by day. When i talk to him on the phone almost every night - It's really hard to keep my voice from cracking as I try to hold back the tears.



I know things are going to get really ugly when his father is served with the custody papers. And I am just trying to stablize myself for the blow. They say you never really know a person until you divorce them or take them to court for custody of your children. Either way it is going to be ugly, and ya it sucks that it is all around the holidays and everything but, I just can't stand go another day let alone a few more months of not being able to hug him, help him with his homework, play our favorite games, sit and spend a weekend watching a trilogy of his favorite movies.

04:37 Dec 08 2010
Times Read: 1,230


Love , just Love getting all of these Holiday cards. It is the one thing that usually puts me in the Holiday mood. And this being the first Holiday with out my Gram and the @nd Christmas with out my Mom and the first Christmas that I don't have alex with me decorating the tree... Let's just say it is really hitting me hard.



I really wanted to have a tree, as I have always had a tree, its the shimmer of the little blinking lights the reflection off the ornanments the smell of Pine filling the room. -sigh-



But anyways - getting all the cards and hanging them up along the doorway into the kitchen, has always been fun, and I put out some other decor tonight as well. Stockings hung on the fireplace, frosty the snowman and of course some bells and holy.



as for doing the holiday exchange I think next year it would be cool to place your favorite holiday cookie recipe in the cards we send out.

01:21 Dec 07 2010
Times Read: 1,241

These are some old poems that I wrote a long time ago... Been going thru old things.





THE PRAYER BY LADY RAYNE



WHAT WAS GOOD IS NOW FORGOTTEN

WHAT WAS FUN SEEMS SO LOST AND BROKEN

THE DAYS OF SUMMER HAVE COME AND GONE

WINTER SKIES HAVE COME AGAIN

WHICH MAKES ME SAD IN MANY WAYS

PLAYING CARDS AND ROLLIN DICE

PACKING A COOLER WITH JUST ENOUGH ICE

DRIVING AROUND AND ACTING ALL SILLY

PASSING OUR TIME WITH OUR GOOD FRIENDS

BLUE, SHERLOCK AND WILLIE….

TIMES I WISH COULD BE FORGOTTEN

LONG CONVERSATIONS ABOUT WHAT IS RIGHT

TEARS OFTEN FALLING

REMEMBERING THE TIMES LIKE THE FOURTH OF JULY

AND ENDING THE NIGHT WITH A QUESTION OF WHY ?

SECRETS BETWEEN FRIENDS

FRIENDS SPLIT BY SECRETS

THINGS TO REMEMBER ABOUT THE WORD “CHANGES”

AND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRIENDS

AND PEOPLE WE JUST KNOW

YOU ARE YOURSELF REGARDLESS OF CHANGES

YOUR LIFE IS YOUR OWN

WHEN YOU MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES.

A THOUGHT TO REMEMBER BEFORE CLOSING THE DOOR

THE FRIENDS THAT YOU HAVE

AND THE ONES THAT REALLY CARE ….

ARE THE ONES LEFT STANDING WHEN YOU SAY THE LAST PRAYER



written by LadyDarkRayne

This was written during the summer of 2006. Me and my ex had just split andmy life was a complete mess. I had gotten very very close with someone who I now and will always call my brother. He taught me many things that summer and saw me thru one of the worst years of my life. ♥ you Matty





Changes"



DRIVING BACK FROM OUR VERY LAST TRIP

STEREO’S PUMPIN AND WE JUST FINISHED SMOKING

GOING HOME ONCE AGAIN

RELIVING THE FIGHTS

THINKING OF REASONS NOT TO GO BACK

IF JUST FOR ONE NIGHT

TRYING TO BE GOOD

I DID THE BEST I COULD

I CAN’T TAKE BACK WHAT WE SAID THAT NIGHT

NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY

THERE’S NO GOING BACK

AND IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO CRY

DAYS TURN TO WEEKS

WEEKS TURN TO MONTHS

I CAME BACK THRU ON MY VERY LAST TRIP

YOU LOOKED REAL GOOD

AND I TOLD MYSELF

“GIRL MAYBE YOU SHOULD “

I DIALED THAT NUMBER AND WAITED FOR THE TONE

AND I SAID ,



“YOU CAN’T TAKE IT BACK

NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY

IT WAS JUST ONE TIME

AND THEN I SAID GOODBYE

YOU CAN’T HATE ME FOREVER

WHEN ITS ALL SAID AND DONE

I TOLD YOU I WAS SORRY AND HUNG UP THE PHONE”



DRIVING BACK HOME

AND MY PHONE STARTE RINGING

I SAW THAT SAME NUMBER

AND PICKED UP THE PHONE

ALL I HEARD WAS,



“PEOPLE DON’T CHANGE

NO MATTER HOW THEY TRY

THEY SAY THEY ARE SORRY

BUT THEY DON’T REALLY KNOW WHY

I DON’T HATE YOU I LOVE

I TOLD YOU BEFORE

IF YOU DID IT AGAIN

I WOULD HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE

IT’S OK GIRL THERE IS NO NEED TO CRY”



written by LadyDarkRayne

That poem was written in 1995, and it was about my ex husband and how I was fighting a drug addiction and I had relapsed.



What Hurts the Most





I see your watching always seeing

You never say a word but just glance my way. . .



You think I don't see you but my friend I see every move you make ...



what hurts the most is watching you and seeing you leave



Crying my heart out everyday we are apart...



We had the best of 2 out of 3 , but it was just never meant to be ...



So what hurts the most is knowing and dreaming and wishing for something that can not be reached ....



You had my heart I gave it to you freely and you broke it and smashed it and wondered why I was so hurt....



What you don't kow and will never know is:



how deeply I ....



How passionatly I ...



Loved You....



What hurts the Most....



Is your silence

your anger

your not being here

your lies and your deception

for everything you said to me

for everyday I believed you

for walking away and ending it that way.....





~By Lady Dark Rayne~

This also was written back in the late 90's.

05:44 Dec 06 2010
Times Read: 1,255

Omg -laughing so hard my ribs hurt with tears running down my face ....





Sunday Night Confessions with Deity



We learned that she likes to :



Wiggle it

Blow on it







No, get your minds out of the gutter, she was talking about her laptop power connection lol

00:17 Dec 05 2010
Times Read: 1,270

Today is just one of those days - It physically hurts to move. I was suppose to start my new treatment today - but I feel like I am coming down with something - So I am going to have delay treatment a few days. The cold and rain and snow and then back to freezing rain is not helping me at all.



I get so angry sometimes because I don't think it fair that I hurt so much. Trying to explain to someone who can not even fathom (sp) what it feels like to hurt like this is like trying to teach a rock to sit up and speak. It's so much worse pain then anything I can imagine, because it just does not hurt in one place its hurts all over. I'm only 37 and I feel more like 73.



It causes me to to be very moody and extremly bitchy. My insomnia episodes seem to becoming more and more regular which doesn't make it any easier. - sigh -

VR's First Annual Secret Vampire
22:53 Dec 03 2010
Times Read: 1,281

Ok gang - The person that you have to buy for is now in your inbox - have fun with it !



As for the for the person that you have been selcted to send to I will get their addres to you tonight...If you are already on the holiday card list - the address may already be on there, but I will still send it out to you tonight.

PRIVATE ENTRY
18:59 Dec 01 2010
Times Read: 1,294


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